Gareth Bale

I've just heard that King Kenny is interested in bringing Gareth Bale to Liverpool Football Club!

Well go out and buy your replica shirt with his name on because it's a done deal now. It's as certain as the sun rising in the morning and setting again in the evening. As certain as the moon appearing after the sun has set and then disappearing as the new morning heralds a bright new day for us long suffering fans. The best fans in the world. Fans that no other club can match.

Why is it certain I hear you ask. Sure, in normal circumstances the deal would only be 90% certain. Upon hearing that the mighty Liverpool Football Club - 5 times winners of Europe's premier club competition - were interested in him, the Welsh wizard would certainly want to come. He would come because he knows football. And he knows what Liverpool Football Club mean in world football to literally billions of people. Billions of people all over the world who have suffered the worst injustices known to man over the last 3 years - suffered the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune at the hands of our former owners and previous manager.

I can't speak their names because if I did my blood pressure would rise to alarming levels that my heart and the blood vessels in my brain simply could not stand. Although, if I was to have a massive heart attack or fatal brain aneurysm, my pain and the pain of my family would pale into insignificance when compared with the pain those bastards, whose names I cannot countenance, inflicted on our club - Liverpool Football Club.

So what makes up the extra 10%? I'll tell you what makes up the extra 10%. What makes up the extra mile you need to finish a marathon? I'll tell you what can give you the extra strength to cross the finish line. What gives you the extra inch that determines success from failure? I'll tell you what can deliver you from despair. The extra millimetre that decides life and death when you take a bullet to the chest? I'll tell you what can fill your heart with the power to deflect hot lead travelling at 146 mph.

Kenny Dalglish.

A man who cannot be ignored. A great man. A man with greater compassion than Mother Theresa. A man with more dignity than Ghandi. A man with more integrity than Nelson Mandela.

A man for Liverpool Football Club.

So Dear Gareth

I have only one thing to say to you. Get in your car and make that long journey north into the arms of greatness. Into the arms of legend. Into the gates of heaven. Gates constructed from the steel of our Lord Shankly's single mindedness. Gates maintained by the great managers in our history. Coats of gleaming silver Hammerite applied by great men. The greatest men you could ever hope to follow in the footsteps of.

Sure, over the last few years those gates have fallen into disrepair. They creaked where the oil in the hinges had dried up. They had rusted in the rain - the rain of pain inflicted by the unmentionables. The rain of tears - tears cried by the greatest most humble followers of any football club in the whole universe.

But those gates are being renovated Gareth. Those gates will once again open to allow in the light of the world. You can be a part of that Gareth. You can be a part of this journey. Just imagine lifting the European Cup Gareth. In the red of Liverpool Football Club Gareth. Think of the love and security you will feel when you look deeply into the eyes of God Gareth. You will feel that when you look into the eyes of the King Gareth.

King Kenny.